There's Just Too Much To Lose
by timeishealing
Summary: "Now son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things." Moments in Hugo Weasley's life as he listens to his father's advice. RHr.


**Warning: It is rather possible for you to cry pathetically while reading this. I cried at least seven times listening to the song that inspired this. Terrible Things by Mayday Parade. sigh. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own the song, don't own the books. Don't own anything. **

Hugo Weasley sat down on a park bench, looking around at the couples and children surrounding him. They laughed and squealed with delight, their expressions full of mirth. To young Hugo, just barely out of Hogwarts and already heartbroken, this was too much to bare. He closed his warm honey eyes and threw his head back, hitting it on the park bench. He didn't wince and just let the summer breeze touch his face with delicacy.

"Hey, son," His father's voice murmured softly and his eyes shot open, looking at his middle-aged father with wide eyes. His father's easygoing smile appeared on his lips and Hugo couldn't help but smile back despite the fact his steady girlfriend was just caught cheating on him with his cousin.

"Dad. Hey," Hugo greeted, scooting over so his father could sit down next to him. Over the years his father had given him such hope during troubled times that right now Hugo was kicking himself for not going to him sooner. Ronald Weasley would give him excellent advice.

Ron sat down carefully, his body not as healthy as it once was. He groaned to himself at the position the bench made him sit in. Then he ran a hand through his thinning hair and looked at his son who looked almost just like his mother except for the bright orange hair. The all-knowing eyes, the small button nose, the dimples when their smile would appear. Ron smiled fondly and wrapped an arm around his son, pulling him closer.

"I heard about Freddie and Julie." Hugo tensed up and looked down at his hands, shaking his head. He couldn't help but think it was his fault. He was always too much for girls. Too into them when they were just interested in him. He was a hopeless romantic in a sea of casual flings. He sighed deeply and looked at his dad.

"I.. Was it my fault? I just want what Uncle Harry and Aunt Gin have. What Uncle George and Aunt Angie have. What you and Mo-" His father laughed loudly and stopped when his son looked offended. Another way he was just like his mother. Cut them off and you might as well have called them the worst names in the book.

Ron chuckled to himself and cleared his throat. "Oh, son. You remind me so much of myself at your age. I was the exact same way. When I was your age, just out of Hogwarts and with the whole world at my fingertips, I just wanted a family." He stopped and smiled at his son. "That's when I finally realized your mother was right by me, waiting for me the whole time. She was the girl of my dreams, even if I didn't realize at the time."

Hugo watched his father in amazement, as not once has he ever talked about how they got together.

_Ron walked into the Burrow, groaning as he stretched. Auror training was brutal that day. Harry almost broke his back. He smiled at the memory and walked into the kitchen, looking around. The only person there was Hermione, who was reading law books at the island. His heart started to beat faster at the sight of her, pajama pants and all. He only started to see her in this angelic sight a few weeks ago but he couldn't bring himself to tell her. What if she laughed in his face. Maybe she was already dating someone. She _was_ awfully close to Zabini._

_"Oh, Ron!" Hermione smiled happily at him, her dimples showing. He nearly sighed in adoration. He smiled weakly back as he looked around for food. "How was your day?"_

_Ron replied, telling her about the exhausting session of training he just went through. Hermione nodded and closed her book. Then she walked up to him and he started to get nervous, wondering what she was doing._

_"Can I tell you something? It might make you feel better," She said softly as she stepped closer and closer. The lack of distance was getting to be a bit too much for him. He nodded wordlessly, not trusting his vocal cords to speak right._

_She cleared her throat, smirking. "I know you've been staring at me everyday for the past couple of weeks," Ron wished he could just die right then and there. The humiliation was overwhelming and he blushed Weasley red, his ears just as bright, looking down at his feet. "Can I tell you something else?"_

_"Can you make it quick so I can try to drown myself in the shower?" Hermione giggled and nodded._

_"I know, somehow," Her eyebrows furrowed, not liking the fact she didn't exactly know something, "That you love me. and I love you, Ronald Weasley." The blush faded surprisingly fast and he stared at her in awe. He knew in that moment that she was the only woman he would ever want to look at for the rest of his life. He leaned down and kissed her eagerly, trying to keep his grin from appearing._

Hugo grinned at his father as the old man seemed to get lost in his memories. Ronald looked at his son and sighed, any sign of happiness vanishing from his expression. Hugo sat up straighter as his father rarely got serious.

"Now son," Ronald looked straight into his eyes. "I'm only telling you this because.. life can do terrible things." Hugo's face twisted into one of realization and he nodded at his father.

"I understand, dad." Ronald nodded and stood up, cracking his back.

"Just know that, son. Always keep that in mind."

Then his father walked away, slowly and with purpose and Hugo watched him, thinking that he understood. He had to move on quickly. He had to find the girl of his dreams and marry her quickly. He could die tomorrow for all he knew. Standing up, he walked the opposite direction, now smiling at the families nearby.

His father was truly a great advice-giver.

* * *

Four years passed by and there was Hugo again, standing in his childhood home with a nervous expression. He knew that Oliva was truly the one. The woman he wanted to see hold his children with love. However, there was something stopping him from asking her. He sighed and walked further down the hallway, looking for his father. He heard the television on in the living room and turned into the doorway, seeing his father watching the program with a tired expression.

"Dad?" His voice broke slightly and he internally scowled, angry for showing weakness. "Dad, hey, I.."

"I heard, son." Ronald's face turned up to him and he smiled excitedly at his son. He gestured towards the couch and Hugo sat down, feeling the box in his pocket with fondness.

"I just.. I love her so much, dad. But after Julie, Mary, Lola, Yvonne, Stella, Lea.." He trailed off and looked up at his hero, his role model, the one person in the world that he could talk to no matter what. "I'm scared. What if she says no? What if she says yes and later, leaves me like I don't matter? Heartbreak is a feeling I know well by now but it still hurts every single time."

"When I was about to propose to your mother, we were so crazy in love. We stayed out all night, drinking and just being kids. Love was the only thing that mattered to us. Especially after the war.." He trailed off and Hugo could see the destruction and casualties in his father's eyes. Then the older man shook his head and a new memory replaced the sorrowful one.

_"Godric's Hollow is so lovely in the wintertime," Hermione exclaimed as they walked down the sidewalk. Ron laughed at her antics and looked at her as the snowflakes fell from the night sky, getting stuck on her long eyelashes. They landed in her wild curls as well and he couldn't help but smile at her, snowflakes and all. There was no doubt in his mind that she was the most beautiful woman in the world._

_"Yeah, truly. Too bad we don't live here." He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets at the thought of their semi-decent apartment over in Hogsmeade. Don't get him wrong, Hogsmeade was a very popular and nice town to live in. But their small apartment was no place for a family and that's the only thing he wanted at this point. A family. Kids running around the house, loud and loving family dinners, diapers and toys. The works._

_Hermione nodded and then her honey orbs lit up with excitement. "Oh! I didn't tell you, did I? I got that promotion! I'm the under secretary for the head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures!" She squealed and grabbed his arm, jumping up and down in pure joy. Ron's heart swelled and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss._

_"That's bloody brilliant, love!" He responded, grinning like she handed the world to him. Then he was suddenly aware of the box in his pocket and realized how utterly perfect this moment was._

_He pulled out the small blue and white striped box with a sliver string tied in a bow on it. "I had this in case I felt a perfect moment." She looked her, smiling fondly._

_"Oh, Ron, you didn't have to get me a present!" Yet she grabbed it nonetheless. Ron cleared his throat as she pulled on the string._

_"Open with care, love," He advised her and she opened the box, staring down into it before looking at her in shock and awe._

_She pulled out the rather large diamond ring, eyeing it with tear-filled eyes. "Ron.."_

_"You know that I love you.. Will you marry me, please?" He got down on one knee, wincing at the snow soaking his jeans instantly. Then he looked up at her, wishing for a camera to capture her in all her glory. Rosy red cheeks, wild curls laced with snow framing her 'O'-shaped mouth as the light brown color in her eyes shone with tears of joy and love._

_"Yes. Yes, yes, yes. A million, billion times yes. Oh my Godric, I'm so happy," She rambled as she pulled him up into a standing position to kiss him passionately and eagerly. She pulled away a few minutes after he deepened it. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want seven kids like your mother. I want to see you standing at the end of that aisle, staring at me like you are now. Ron, I love you so bloody much."_

_He figured that her ideas weren't that bad. Actually, they were pretty damn good._

Hugo laughed as his father finished the story with a chuckle. Again, Ron never really told stories about him and his mother. He never explained why either. It was like an unspoken rule in their household.

"Now son, I'm only telling you because life can do terrible things," He paused and a strange look passed over his face. Hugo felt the atmosphere switch to solemn. "You'll learn.. I hope and I pray, son, that it shows you differently," He finished quietly and Hugo nodded. He remembered the words from a long time ago.

"Thanks, dad. You always give me great advice." He stood up and checked the time, remembering that Oliva would be getting home soon. Maybe today was the day. After all, he should live life like he was going to die. That's what his father meant.

He kissed his father on the forehead and left the room, walking out of the house, feeling that nervous feeling leave his heart swiftly.

* * *

Ronald stood in the doorway of the elegant dressing room. He could feel his bowtie restricting his airway a little and moved his wrinkled and withered hand to loosen it as he watched his son break down from a strong young man to a shell of a human being.

Hugo was screaming, punching mirrors, tugging at his tux with unbridled fury. It ripped easily and he threw the jacket onto the floor, screaming with all the air in his chest. His voice went hoarse about ten minutes ago but he kept going, feeling no end to his anger and heartbreak. He threw chairs at windows and crushed wine glasses in half. He saw the bouquet on the table and destroyed the lilies up, stomping them into the floor.

Ronald cleared his throat and watched expectantly as his son noticed his presence. Hugo's red face faded into a pink and the anger vanished without a trace. Heartbreak took over and the tears started coming. They raced down his cheeks and dropped onto his rumpled white shirt. "Dad.." He whispered brokenly. Ronald stepped into the room, if it could be called that now, and wrapped his arms around his child, pulling him into a hug. Hugo moved his face into his father's shoulder and sobbed sorrowfully. "Why? Why did she leave? Why is love so goddamn hurtful?" He asked the only person in his life he could count on.

"I ask myself that, actually." Ron set his chin on his son's head. Even at his old age, he was taller than most of his family. "When your mother died." Hugo tensed up. Ron went on. "It was a couple of months after you were born, a year and a half after your sister, Rose. She came to me and told me about a muggle disease. Cancer. Thyroid cancer, to be exact." Hugo pulled up and looked at his father in shock. Never did his father talk about her death. Rose and he were not allowed to speak about it.

_He sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair, watching the love of his life die slowly in that white hospital bed. The emptiness he felt clutched at his heart painfully. Opening her sparkle-lacking eyes, Hermione turned and looked at her husband with tears._

_"I'm so sorry, Ron. I never meant-" He cut her off, squeezing her small hand with a muffled sob._

_"It's not your fault, love. It's life's." And that was the truth. Life did this. Life took her away from him. Life decided that he must live alone. Life decided that Hugo and Rose must not know their mother._

_"But Hugo.. Rosie.. They'll never know me. I'm so sorry," She started to sob, hoarsely, for the cancer made her voice and throat painfully sore. The breathing machine in the room beeped slowly and he watched as she began to cough and seemed like she wasn't going to stop. She did after about five slow, anxious minutes._

_Despite the doctor's comments and pitiful looks, Ron still always looked at her with hope. "You could get better... Right?" Hermione just gave him a look, a look he knew well after these past 6 months._

_She didn't answer straight away, and they both listened to the multiple beeps in the room. The silence overwhelmed him and he turned to look at her again, wishing that she didn't look so dead already. "It's anaplastic, Ron. 7% survival rate.. remember?" He did remember. He remembered punching the wall next to him, hearing the sickening crunch but not caring as Hermione began to sob and cry, inducing tears from the nurses in the room as well._

_"Hermione.. please. You can't leave me. Please. We're supposed to have seven children. We're supposed die old, _together_. We were supposed to.. To... Goddamn it, it's not fair!" He screamed over the countless machines and he tugged at his hair, trying to keep from imploding. There was a pressure in his chest, rising too, and he knew it was a matter of time because he lashed out terribly._

_"Ron, don't, please. Don't be sad." He just looked at her in defeat and his hands removed themselves from his red locks._

_She gasped suddenly and the beeping went berserk, rapidly sounding off. Ron jumped up and rushed over to her side. "Hermione!" He screamed, eyes widening in horror. "Don't die! NURSE! DOCTOR! PLEASE! Don't die, love, p-p-please!" After seconds, most of the medical staff on the floor Hermione was living at rushed into the room and he was being pulled back. His mind went blank and he tried to fight them off. "LET ME GO! LOVE, HOLD ON! PLEASE! GODDAMN, LET ME GO!" Hermione's wide, terrified eyes looked at him and before the breathing mask went onto her mouth, she said her last__ words, words that would haunt him forever._

_"You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me." Then he was pulled completely out of the room, the door slamming in his face. He watched through the small window, panic stricken, as they tried with all their might to save her. The minutes went by slowly, so goddamn slowly that he thought an unknown deity stopped the Earth's turning just for him to suffer. _

_Her body stopped jerking around and the beeping in the room slowly to a constant 'beeeeeeeeeeeeep' that erased all hope he had. But maybe..._

_"Time of death?" He cried out at the lead doctor's words and he fell to his knees, feeling his world crack apart. _

_"NO!" He sobbed out, slamming his hands onto the floor. Tears rushed out of his eyes, splashing onto the floor. "HERMIONE!" He called out, wondering if this was a nightmare. It had to be, for Life couldn't be this cruel. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to live until age 80, with him, dying after him so he could never live without her. "please.. bring her back... I'm so sorry..." No one in the hallway touched him. Not George, who watched with tears in his eyes. Not Harry who was holding a sobbing Ginny as he cried into her hair. Not Molly or Arthur who were wiping away tears. Not even young Hugo or Rose who both looked around in confusion._

_That was when Ronald Weasley's world fell apart and was never truly fixed._

Hugo was crying even harder now into his father's tux as his father wiped away tears himself. "I tried to tell you. Many times," He started to say, licking his dry lips as he thought of the right words to say. "Don't fall in love, son. There's just... too much to lose." Hugo looked at his father, soaking up his words like a sponge. "If you're given the choice, just choose to walk away." His father pulled away and grabbed at his son's shoulders, staring into his eyes seriously. "I wouldn't be able to bare seeing the same thing happening to you." Hugo nodded and they started to hug again, sobbing and crying with each other.

For now they both wisely knew. Life could do such terrible things.


End file.
